Being An Asshole
It still breaks my heart when I am thinking back to last night. After having assisted in brushing his teeth, I wanted to put the toothbrush back to where it was, But Michel, my elder son wanted to do it by himself. Feeling that apparently, he only wanted to delay the point of going to bed, I insisted to do it myself, not realising that Michel just wanted to show me how good he can do that for his age.
It ended up in an argument and with madly dropping his toothbrush on the floor, yelling at him and leaving him behind in the bathroom, slamming the door, starting to go mad outside because of what I felt to be him acting in a "No, I don't want to do this" kind of way. Michel started crying and when I went to see him again in the bathroom, he was just sitting there on the carpet, holding his toothbrush, crying and looking at me like he has lost all his confidence in his daddy, looking at me like asking "why are you being so unfair to me?"
I would just give up anything to erase this feeling within me I have at the moment towards Michel and towards that situation. This haunts me like a curse and really nearly breaks my heart... What has Michel done that got me acting this way? NOTHING! It's just a tiny little boy who wanted to show me how grown-up he can act, even if it's only putting aside his toothbrush....
1 Kommentar:
isnt this a typically situation between parents and children?
Parents are not perfect,we do things which is very silly many times.
I did read once "Small children look at their parents as Gods"...but later they can see we do mistakes.
Stop taking yourself too serious and be able to laugh of yourself....laugh together with your son,and make the situation softer....children understand easy when you explane for example that you are tired and easy get angry and apologize....talk to your children and look them in the eye....have a nice time with your children and let them feel comfortable with you...
Best wishes:)
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