Shrinkwrapped Feelings

At the beginning of 2007, I hoped for several things to change back for good. But I guess it's an illusion to make a cut-off by a certain date and hope for a radical change by the following day. Usually, such things only happen when changing your habits (i.e. quit smoking, eat less, drive more carefully and many more): either you're hungry all the time, craving for cigarettes or getting nervous because driving more carefully leads you to be as slow as the slowest driver in one row. Those are the immediate results of a change like this. when you look further, you'll probably live healthier, lose weight (which might contribute to living healthier as well) and arrive less stressed and safe (again... a long life is ahead of you).

I want to change the way of sleeping, after all, because I have found out that falling asleep doesn't seem to be the main problem anymore, plus I get at least 6 to 7 hours of sleep each day. So, good news! The problem is that I am not going to bed gefore about 1 or 2 AM, then watch TV for another 1 to 2 hours. So when falling asleep at about 4 AM in the morning, seven hours later, it's close to lunchtime...

Hell yes, I have kinda cleared the problem of not being able to fall asleep, have quit struggling with that situation and have come away from these agressive feelings towards myself because of that. My wife once said that it doesn't seem that I suffer from the original problem anymore; I only go to bed too late and then sleep in until lunchtime. At first, I was shocked because I had the impression of her not taking me seriously. Then I realized that the problem is still there because there HAS to be a reason why I am avoiding early sleep times.

Although there’s no problem at my job because of all this, I am not so confident about that anymore: Imagine an employee arriving very late, then again still working his 8 hours and delivering all the necessary results, but his presence doesn’t quite match with the presence of most / all others…

Coming back to having cleared the original problem, this also leads me to the goal I try to reach this year: going to bed at reasonable times But: am I already sleepy by then? Generally no. So this is a dilemma, because I tend to take medication again to force myself to sleep, not because I cannot fall asleep, but because I am sleeping at the wrong times…..